Wavering productivity


A very good friend of mine says
that everything in life comes in waves.
Like sine waves.
In many way it is very much so.

There are days when I feel there aren’t enough hours.
I want solve all problems immediately.
I work, hours pass by, and I don’t care.
Days pass by and I don’t care. I’m in the flow.
And most importantly, I trust that what I’m doing is important.

However that’s not how I feel all the time.
And does anyone really?
There is no high without the low.

My fear is that this wavering makes the high ever lower.
That in each cycle my average productivity falls,
and if that’s the case I feel guilty for not carrying my own weight on the team.

Looking back, there was a time when I was not committed at all.
Before I joined the team, that is.
Thus my productivity has literally gone for zero to one.
Which disproves my previous theory.

OK. Problem solved. Still not feeling better, why?
I am not confident I can deliver everything that is expected of me.

People say motivation is a three-legged chair.
It needs Autonomy, Mastery, Purpose.
My current task feels overwhelming (Mastery).
I feel like it is a little too much for me.
But I won’t give up.
I understand this is a dumb feeling, and I’ll push through.
All I have to do is to keep showing up.

We [all] mostly don’t understand what is going on; the effects of our actions are inherently unpredictable; and our motivations are mixed, so we often undermine our own effectiveness. Meaningness.com

No one knows their shit.
We just make it seem so.
For others.
For ourselves.